FAT!MAIL JULY 2006- Happy Mail

///////////////////////////FATMAIL : )  HAPPY MAIL!!!! : )  : )  : ) //////////////////////// We just want to start by saying: isnt this world a great and wonderful place? Isnt this life a ceaseless, boundless, bountiful cavalcade of unremittingly joyful carnival-floats-of-the-mind, parading through the streets of Happy Town? Doesnt it all make you smile until your face feels like a smacked bottom? : ) Why are we so happy, you might ask? Ill tell you why: Because weve got breakbeat in our lives. Yes, thats right, breakbeat. Of course the scene isnt dead!!! Oh no no no no no no!! That was just a tremendous joke that we played on you all. We dont really believe it. And the person who wrote it has been given a jolly good ticking off for just taking it TOO FAR. : ( And if you had decided that we were a bunch of cynical, spiteful rave-casualties harking for the glory-days of hardcore and pink callies, youd be wrong! Things are better than ever now. In fact. Im personally so delighted with the way things are going, that a moment ago I had a spontaneous anal prolapse just thinking about it, and Im now writhing about in the warm mess of blood, shit and joyful tears that is covering my computer stall. IS that happiness or what? It certainly feels like it!!! : )  : ) Whats even better than just the sheer delight of breakbeat as an artform that unites people, is that were involved in Chew The Fat, probably the greatest breakbeat club and label in the world (apart from all the other REALLY great clubs and labels, which are equally good), and we get to go to some of the worlds greatest deprived countries, like Australia, and spread the gospel of breaks to the disadvantaged and uncultured. You should see the smiles on their little faces! Now we know how Jesus felt when he made the blind see. : ) Also, working at Fat, we get to rub shoulders with LIVING LEGENDS like Paul GREAT! Arnold, who quite simply makes the world a better place to be in : ) But now, for those who still need a reason to be cheerful, lets look forward to another fantabulous month of music to put a smile back on the face of even the most miserable old humourless cunt that takes themselves too seriously read on Fat-fans! ///////////////// Chew the Fat! at The End: Friday 14th July //////////////////// If you thought that last months Chew The Fat with tech-house GENIUS Pool Woolface was the pinnacle of your life, just wait until this months coup de grace. Make sure youre sitting down as you scroll down this email and read the line-up, and perhaps ask a friend to keep an eye out for you in case you lose consciousness, fall off your chair and accidentally slice your face off especially when I tell you that our special guest is breakbeat deity FREQ NASTY. Fatmail was honoured to ask the great one to impart to us a few treasured memories of his time at Fat, in anticipation of his forthcoming performance at our humble dance music club: FAT: What does Chew the Fat! mean to you?  FREQ: When it started out in Brixton it was nutty, with 150 or 200 people packing into a space where you were only meant to have 80, and in the summer I still remember it was the sweatiest venue I've ever played in. There'd be sweat dripping down from the ceiling onto the decks, it was disgusting, absolutely disgusting. Read the full interview at our state-of-the-art website, jamrag-packed with news, views, information and other great stuff: http://www.thefatclub.com/freqint.html And heres this months mind-bogglingly awesome lineup in full: Freq Nasty  registering at 11 on a scale of one to awesome! Baobinga & I.D  two of the finest blokes youd ever wish to meet from perhaps the UKs most brilliant city  Manchester! Top! Bassnectar  big fans of this guy. Really nice bloke. Plus our treasured and valued residents: Paul Tremendously Great! Arnold & Kid Cracking Chap! Blue Nice Up in the Lounge: Regal (Bronx Dogs/Funk Weapons) Emskee (Together Brothers, NYC) J*Star & MC Honey Brown Matman (2005 DMC UK Supremcy Champion) Shepdog and Watkins Mr Lip DJ Awesome featuring MC Absolutely Superb Brian Fucking Excellent Jimmy Joyface The End, 18 West Central St., London, U.K. London, W1 10 till 6am £10 / £6  nus Buy Advance tickets here http://thefatclub.trinitystreetdirect.com/ This is simply the best way of making sure you dont miss out on a simply unforgettable night to end all nights. Or call ticket web 08700600100 / www.ticketweb.co.uk ///////////////////////////////////////Win!! Its a Fat comp!///////////////////////////// Win two guestlists to The End this week, plus a copy of Baobinga & ID's latest record by answering this fun teaser: On a scale of one to fun, how much fun is a night at Chew The Fat? a)    As much fun as sniffing glue b)    As much fun as spending a night in a Turkish prison cell with a toothless sex pest c)    As much fun as seeing the smiling face of a child when they say their first word, and simultaneously finding        out that all wars and poverty have ended Email your answers to us, with: : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ): ) in the subject heading. /////////Chew the Fat! at The Sub Club,  Scotland Friday 21st July////////////// You might think that the Scots are a bunch of dour, sour-faced, thistle-sucking doom-brains who wouldnt be happy if they had a torpedo full of ecstasy shoved up their pale, ginger arses. But thats where youre wrong! You only need to take a look at the faces of the street-drinkers slumped in the doorways of every Glaswegian street: those happy smiles  as wide as the Firth of Forth  say it all. And this month, Fat returns to Glasgow to top up the joy quota with the launch of Paul Arnolds life-changing mix CD. Paul Trouble Arnold - JINGS! Precision Cut CRIVENS! Baobinga & I.D.  HOOTS! Bradley C  HELP MA BOAB! 2200 - 0300  £8/£6 b4 11pm and concessions Sub Club, 22 Jamaica st, Glasgow G1 4QD. Info: fat@freq-mode.co.uk ///////////////////////////// Fat! Festivals /////////////////////////////// >>ELECTRIC GARDENS Probably the greatest festival ever staged is happening this very year in Kent! Check out the website www.electricgardensfestival.com or www.myspace.com/electricgardens Electric Gardens Festival Friday 4th/Saturday 5th August Mount Ephraim Gardens Nr Canterbury Kent Tickets £20 per day, camping £10 per night Limited VIP tickets available with backstage access for £25 Tickets available from www.electricgardensfestival.com or www.ticketmaster.com >>BLOOM Ive run out of superlatives to describe an equally transcendent festival thats happening, er, somehere around the same time too I think. Friday 11th / Saturday 12th / Sunday 13th August CHEW THE FAT ARENA Terrific! Tayo Atomic (H)outstanding! Hooligan Brilliant! Blim Paul Tits Alive! Arnold Fucking unbelievable! Friendly My pancreas has spontaneously combusted! Merkin Kid Cocking Hell! Blue The Bloom Festival Friday 11th - Sunday 13th August Larmer Tree Gardens Wiltshire Weekend Tickets Early bird tickets (still a few available now) £70 + £5 postage + £2.50 booking fee Full price tickets £85 + £5 postage + £2.50 booking fee and can be bought at www.bloomfestival.com/tickets.php ///////////// Chew the Fat! Radio new time and on sky digital ////////////// Could it get any better? All night Fat on the radio  for those who simply cannot cram enough fun into a normal working day. SAT EVE/SUN MORN 4AM TILL 6AM www.ministryofsound.com/radio/chewthefat  or tune in on Sky Channel number 198 HOSTED by Amazing! Andy D and this week a special guest mix by Ballbonkingly Brilliant! Baobinga & I.D. //////////////////////////////FAT RECORDS //////////////////////////////// WHITE LABELS AVAILABLE NOW!! Baobinga and I.D. 'The Machine/Jelly Roll' (ctfat033)    A tour de force of exemplary musical genius  Mail on Sunday http://thefatclub.trinitystreetdirect.com/ Forthcoming: Kid Blue "Hairy Sambuca" featuring Kickflip remix (ctfat034 rel date tbc) A Spellbinding achievement: the future of all music as we know it  The Socialist Worker OUT NOW!! Chew the FAT! at the End presents Paul 'Trouble' Arnold (ctfatcd004) Moving, life-affirming and essentially a triumph of human endeavour: for the entire 45 minutes I wept like a crack-baby with whooping cough  The Telegraph http://thefatclub.trinitystreetdirect.com/cd www.djdownload.com/fat /////////////////// 3000 records for you for free!!! /////////////// Because he loves you so much, as of from next week Paul Arnold of Fat! records will be opening up his record collection of over 3000 breakbeat/ house/ techhouse/ downtempo records 100's of rare old skool breakbeats and good house 12"s (second hand and new but a good mixture of all) all for you to take FOR FREE*. Its a supermarket sweep at Fat Towers, so come and get it! Email paul@thefatclub.com to arrange a viewing appointment! First come first served! *All records are subject to a discretionary handling surcharge to be decided arbitrarily by the Fat Directors and paid in cash. /////////// End the Fat ///////////// We wish it wouldnt end, but alas, it must. There simply isnt enough time in the day or words in the English language to get across how brilliant everything is at the moment. Weve probably taken up far too much of your time already, but we just wanted to thank you for reading. And thanks for supporting us for all these years, for paying money to come to all our parties, for buying all those records and CDs, for tuning in to the radio station. If youre reading this youre a very special person and we love you like an unborn twin. Dont ever change. We really cant wait to see you at our next party and hopefully you cant wait to hear more fantastic good news from us in the next FATMAIL! : ) : ) Sincere good wishes. God bless you everyone. Much love Fat xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx TO UNSUBSCRIBE, SIMPLY REPLY TO THIS EMAIL WITH IM AN UNHAPPY PERSON AND I HAVE NO PLACE ON THIS LIST IN THE SUBJECT HEADING